My Travels with Morrisey

In the year of 1990 I was driving over the Benjamin Franklin bridge, inbound to Philly from Marlton NJ with my friend Bill Cawley. We were on our way to Orltliebs Jazz Haus. As usual we were discussing cinema and music. Bill asks me "have you seen the new Morrisey video?", "No" I replied. Bill laughed and proceeded to describe it to me "It's called November Spawned a Monster, he's in the middle of the desert wearing a see through shirt, writhing on rocks, overly emoting. Then he takes his shirt off and he has a Band-Aid covering one of his nipples and he stands their with an apple in his mouth, it's so annoying." This description threw me for a real loop, I laughed heartily and asked "What! Are you kidding? Does Prince know about this?" Bill stops laughing, looks at me like I've lost it and says in a deadpan voice "What do you mean, why would Prince even care?" I was confused, had Bill's memory failed him at the tender age of 21? I said "Come on Bill, you know Prince is the creative force behind everything that Morrs Day does." "I said Morrisey, not Morris Day!" Much laughter ensued and to this very day I always picture the video with Morris Day in Morrisey's place.

Trick My Trick : Too funny, I want my trick tricked by Odenkirk!

Slogans for Philadelphia....or, don't get me wrong, I actually like it here.

My friend Bill has been in town for the last week, he flew in to Philly to hang on the Fourth of July and to go to see the Feelies at Maxwell's in Hoboken with me. While we were driving around Philadelphia, I mentioned the official tourism slogan the city adopted about a decade ago, 'Philadelphia, the city that loves you back!'. Well we both think it's way off the mark, so we started to banter about what the slogan should be in reality:

'Philadelphia, did you look at me? Tell me you didn't look at me?'

'Philadelphia, if I had a tooth, it would hurt.'

'Philadelphia, a good place to die!'

'Philadelphia, it's so small as to create claustrophobia...don't believe the map!!'

'Philadelphia, it ain't New York...New York is grateful!'

'Philadelphia, abandon all hope ye who enter!'

'Philadelphia, where hanging out at Johnny Brenda's makes you a total celebrity'

'Philadelphia, everyone one here knows one another, they don't like each other and they sure as hell don't like you, so leave!'

'Philadelphia, pfffft, later!'

'Welcome to Philadelphia, if you're a tourist and you want a cheesteak, get an interpreter!'

" Welcome to Philadelphia, don't worry if you missed lasts month's issue, this months issue of Philadelphia Magazine is also a restaurant issue."

flotsam and jetsam

It's been a while since I've posted so I thought I would just add a few random thoughts in this space. I intend to post more regularly.

One additional misheard lyric I've had and forgot to mention in a previous post was hearing Arrowsmith's song Sweet Emotion as Speed and Motion, I've always been told I have a very strong innate sense of physics!

Did you ever go to a convenience store and have an older cashier(over the age of 30)who seemingly loved their job? I don't know if these people are working a second job or are just happy at the bottom of the chain, I do however admire them.

Did you ever notice that the bands you like all come around to your town at the same time and then there is nothing you want to see for months? Do I sound like Andy Rooney with this post, probably!

I think the new My Morning Jacket stuff sounds great...I always think that though! I also think the new Nick Cave sounds great...I don't usually think that.

More later.

This evening, I went food shopping in NJ. I had to get a bunch of stuff for the Super Bowl party I'm hosting. While I was online for checkout I looked to my right, there they had discounted, previously viewed DVDs. Front and center was the above title for $2.00. I laughed out loud (or LOL for those of you under 26) the instant it came into view. Is it not the most hideous DVD cover ever foisted upon the buying public? They had to be joking, it's the worst photoshop job I've ever seen anywhere...period. I don't think anyone could even reasonably try to do a job a shoddy as the job that was done on this. Of course it was so ridiculous I had to buy it for $2.00, it makes me laugh to even think about it.

My own, personal misheard lyrics

Like Anyone, I've had my share of misheard lyrics to songs. Like most everyone, there are some seriously mangled ones:

1) The Beatles - Think for Yourself - 'Although your mind's opaque' became 'although your mind's okay'.

2) Roxy Music - Editions of You - 'learn from your mistakes is my only advice' became 'learn from your mystics is my only advice'. I like my lyric better!

3) The Jeffersons theme song - This is without a doubt my worst misheard lyric and thusly, the funniest. I don't know how my ears heard this, give it a listen next time you hear it and tell me it doesn't sound a little like it. the lyric 'Long as we live, it's you and me baby, ain't nothing wrong with that' became 'long sweet lips chewing me baby, ain't nothing wrong with that.' Some one pointed out to me that I was incorrect when I was about 19. I wouldn't read too much into the error, I just figured, as some naive suburban kid that it was something over my head, ebonics or jive whatever...

I am sure there are other misheard lyrics that I forget or that I am unaware of...more to come, I'm sure. Those are all I can think of for now.

tales from work

One day, I was having lunch with my Stepfather Rob. This was at work and roughly 15 years ago. We didn't have much to say, I think I was doing the crossword(as usual) just sitting in silence eating. Rob turns to me and says, "You know who can really sing?" I said "who?" Rob replies, "That Gomer Pyle." I nodded in agreement and we went back to silence.